Welcome to The Crispy Cult™ 🚀🍗
of Freddie Funk™!!I’m Freddie Funk™ — kitchen rebel, poultry prophet, and the sauce-splattered voice behind The Rotisserie Revolution™.I believe in feasting loud, saucing proud, and turning every chicken into a leg-end. My mission? To fuel your gains, feed your goblins™, and save your wallet — all while making you laugh until the gravy spills.Here you’ll find absurd recipes, crispy wisdom, and merch that lets the world know you worship at the altar of golden skin.👉 Buy the book | 👕 Grab the merch |🎥 Follow the madnessCluck yeah. 🚀🍗
👕 Rock the Cult™, Reek of Funk™!!Wear the word. Sip from the mug.
From sacred tees to unholy aprons, the Cult provides (Golden Grisms™ sold separately).Your vibe ascends the second you slip it on — funk isn’t optional, it’s the dress code.⚠️ Warning: may cause spontaneous clucking in public.
Cluck You™ Range:
Romance, rebellion, and crispy seduction.
CLUCK YOU™ Sacred Black Hoodie
🔥 Wrap yourself in Sacred Black™.
For winter nights, cult rites, and silently judging the uncrispened.
Warning: Side-effects include spontaneous strutting.
CLUCK YOU™ Righteous White Tee
☀️ Pure Righteous White™.
Loud enough to cluck in a library.
It doesn’t whisper — it shouts: Join the Cult.
CLUCK YOU™ Righteous White Hoody
🔥 Wrap yourself in righteous White™.
For those holy nights, divine delights, and judging the un-crisped with a halo of style.
Warning: May cause sudden bursts of angelic funk and spontaneous levitation.
CLUCK YOU™ Sacred Black Tee
CLUCK YOU™ SACRED — BLACK TEE
Pure sacred black™, loud enough to cluck in the shadows. It doesn’t whisper—it declares, “Join the cosmic flock.”
Ohm My Gawd™ Range:
Cosmic geometry. Sacred drip. Enlighten your wardrobe.
OHM MY GAWD™ Sacred Black Tee
🌑 Darkness never looked so funky.
Channel 432Hz straight through your chest with Sacred Black™.
Absurd enlightenment, wearable daily.
OHM MY GAWD™ Righteous White Hoodie
⚡ Sacred static meets heavenly drip in Righteous White™.
Meditate, levitate, or just marinate — either way, you’re funk-anointed.
Comfy enough to summon saucy saints.
OHM MY GAWD™ Righteous white t-shirt
Funk in Pure LightOhm My God — righteous white tee. Shine in pure, funky enlightenment. Channel 432 Hz of cosmic clarity straight through your aura. Absurdly light, ridiculously right, and wearable daily. Warning: may cause spontaneous enlightenment or random dance moves at dawn. ✨
OHM MY GAWD™ sacred black Hoodie
Shadow of the FunkOhm My God — sacred black hoodie. Sacred static meets midnight drip in deep black. Meditate, levitate, or just marinate — either way, you’re funk-anointed. Comfy enough to summon saucy saints and shadow-walk through winter rites. 😎
Ascended Chicken Masterz™ Range:
Cosmic drip from the higher roost.
**Ascended Chicken Masterz™ Righteous White Tee **
Wrap yourself in sacred softness with the Ascended Chicken Masterz white tee. Perfect for those who want to channel a little enlightenment into their everyday style. Cluck your way to nirvana!
Ascended Chicken Masterz™ Righteous White Hoodie
Stay cozy and enlightened with the Ascended Chicken Masterz white hoodie. Whether you’re meditating or just chilling, this hoodie is your perfect companion on the path to funky enlightenment.
Chicken Freqz™ Range: Wear the Fry-quency.
Chicken Freqz™ Premium Hoodie — Black
The shadow-frequency look.
Dark, sleek, and powerful — the black Chicken Freqz™ hoodie is built for those who operate in stealth mode. Premium feel, clean lines, and the Chicken Freqz insignia glowing like infused cosmic energy. Stay warm. Stay crispy. Stay tuned.
Chicken Freqz™ Classic Tee — White
Tune into the Fry-quency.
This clean white Chicken Freqz™ tee brings cosmic kitchen vibes to any outfit. Soft, breathable, and printed with the official Chicken Freqz insignia — perfect for fans of sound-based mastery and crispy enlightenment.
Wear it light. Wear it loud.
Chicken Freqz™ Premium Hoodie — White
Ascend in comfort.
The white Chicken Freqz™ hoodie wraps you in warm cosmic drip while keeping your frequency high. Featuring the signature Chicken Freqz emblem on ultra-soft premium fabric, this hoodie is your go-to gear for cold days, kitchen missions, and late-night funk sessions.
Chicken Freqz™ Classic Tee — Black
Bold. Clean. Crispy.
This black Chicken Freqz™ tee delivers maximum contrast with the iconic emblem front and centre. Perfect for night missions, kitchen espionage, or just looking like a Funk-I-Verse badass. Light fabric, crisp print, legendary vibe.
Crispina Bones™ RangeCosmic kitchen glamour, fried with attitude.
PDFs & eBooksDigital downloads — crispy stories, cosmic wisdom, and cult classics.
📖 The Rotisserie Revolution™The absurd cookbook that’ll change how you see chicken forever.Packed with crispy wisdom™, gravy-fueled hacks, and goblin-feeding greatness™.Unleash your inner cult chef. Burn the bland. Feed the absurd.👉 Available soon in paperback & digital formats.
FREEBIES
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ CULT-LEVEL SUPPORT DESERVES CULT-LEVEL REWARDSLeft a 5-star review? You’re officially one of us!
Send proof and we’ll send you an exclusive thank-you freebie from deep within the Crispy Cult™ vaults.📩 Email your screenshot to: [email protected]
👻 You’ll unlock a secret reward known only to initiates of The Crispy Cult!No sauce-stained strings attached.Just crispy gratitude!